Streets of Rage Review  

Also known as ‘How to ruin a classic’ 

Played on iPhone 

By Coxster 

As you can probably tell, I’m not very happy with the latest Sega Megadrive emulation to show up on the iPhone.  Where I come from, there are a few tiny rules that you just don’t break. You don’t pull on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind and you do not f@ck with Streets of Rage unless you’re bringin’ the heat!  

Seriously, this emulation is worse than what the pirates are offering which is totally unacceptable.  To me this reeks of money grabbing, lack of quality control and just plain old laziness.  Streets of Rage is a classic game that still has a huge following to this day.  It’s worthy of the same attention that Sonic got and when you consider the power of the iPhone, there is simply no excuse for the poor job that has been done here.

Lets start off listing some of the shortcomings (and that’s the nicest word I can think of to describe the massive f@ck-ups that they have managed to pull off. )

• Shitty framerate that dips into the single digits and often resembles a slideshow of Streets of Rage than actually looking like a videogame. 
• Yuzo Koshiro’s amazing soundtrack has been completely bastardized due to the shitty framerate making it almost unbearable to listen to. 
• The controls are unresponsive making it a chore to play.  
• The virtual view that fills the whole screen with the controls over the top is virtually unplayable due to the fact that most of the game takes place under your fingers. 
• Costs a friggin fortune for a piece of shit that is virtually unplayable.  

In my opinion, all these things are deal breakers. 

You want to play Streets of Rage?  Get a copy of the excellent Megadrive collection that you can pick up for $40 bucks these days.  Avoid this game on the iPhone!  Do not reward their mediocrity! 

UPDATE: An update was released for this game which has fixed the framerate issue.  There are moments where it still staggers but at least it’s playable.  The controls still feel like ass.  Still can’t recommend it.   

What did my poor beloved Streets of Rage do to deserve this?